I was scrolling through Weibo during my lunch break at a local café when I came across Pan Zhanle’s post-race interview. The steam from my latte fogged up my phone screen just as he said those words about his ‘incomplete grand slam’ – and something about that phrase hit me right in the chest.
There was Pan, fresh from winning the National Games 100m freestyle gold, looking both triumphant and strangely incomplete. ‘This gold is crucial for my 100m freestyle grand slam,’ he said, sweat still dripping from his chin onto the microphone. ‘I’m still missing one piece – the short course championship – but let me enjoy this one first.’ The way he smiled while saying this reminded me of my cousin back in Vancouver, who always talks about ‘almost’ finishing his MBA while working two jobs.
You know what’s funny? The video kept buffering right at the moment he mentioned ‘the final piece.’ I had to reload three times – which, if you’re an overseas Chinese trying to watch domestic content, you know this struggle all too well. That spinning loading icon felt like a metaphor for all the ‘almost there’ moments in life.
I remember watching swimming competitions with my dad years ago, the smell of chlorine from our local pool mixing with the scent of his tea as we cheered for Chinese athletes. Now, trying to watch these moments from abroad feels like watching through a foggy window – you can see the action, but something always gets lost in transmission.
Pan’s journey mirrors so many of our experiences abroad. That constant feeling of being ‘one piece short’ – whether it’s missing family gatherings back home, or that particular taste of street food you can’t find anywhere else, or simply being unable to smoothly stream the shows everyone’s talking about.
When Pan talked about his remaining short course goal, I thought about my friend Lisa in Melbourne. She’s been trying to watch the latest Chinese reality show for weeks, but between geo-restrictions and buffering issues, she’s only managed to catch broken clips. ‘It’s like reading a book with every other page missing,’ she told me last week, her voice crackling over our video call.
Maybe that’s why Pan’s interview resonated so deeply. We’re all chasing our own versions of completion – whether it’s an athlete’s grand slam, or simply being able to seamlessly connect with the culture and content that feels like home.
As I finished my coffee, I sent the interview clip to three different overseas friends. Two of them replied within minutes saying they couldn’t play it properly. Which got me thinking – how many of us are out here, celebrating Chinese achievements while dealing with our own digital ‘missing pieces’?
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PC：
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